Protecting Yourself In SL

I don't normally publish my lesson plans, but this lesson has been well received and perhaps deserveds a wider audience.

Lesson 11.1 Protecting yourself in SL
Unit: 11 - Second Life
28 January 2009

1. Protect your Real Life information. Do not give out information that could be used to blackmail you, or stalk you, or steel your identity. Only discuss your Real Life with those you trust, and only in general terms - tell them your country, not your city, your birth decade or age not your birth date. Ask yourself - Does this person have any right to know about my Real Life? If the answer is no, then say no. Never tell ANYONE your Credit Card Number, your SSN, or your password. Be extremely careful before telling anyone your real name.

2. Don't exploit others, and don't let yourself be exploited. Play fair.

2.1 Your money stays in your account. There is no excuse for a Master or Mistress demanding that you give them your money or land. That is unacceptable.

2.2. Don't give land, or money or expensive SL gifts to your Master, Mistress or Partner, or your friends. Don't ask for land, money or expensive gifts. Be wary of those who expect such gifts - or who insist on giving them to you.

2.3 Even in power exchange relationships there is a spirit of good will and equity which is very easily damaged if either person feels that they are being exploited. If you can keep money out of the relationship - or ensure that expenses are met equally - it helps to keep it a good, true relationship.

2.4 Don’t lend your friends in SL money, and don't beg for money from your friends. A friend who continually begs for money is not a friend. If you lend someone in SL money, count it as a gift to them - don't expect to get it back.

3. Take is slow. Everyone on SL is desperate, everyone is needy, but before you accept a Master or Mistress spend some time with them. Introduce them to your friends. Visit some social or spanking sites together. Talk about things that are important. If they don't want to spend time with you and you can't talk to them then it's certain that they're not right for you.

3.1 The quest to satisfy RL needs in SL is full of peril. There far more failures than successes. There is far more pain & sadness than joyous unions. Take it for what it is. Have fun!

3.2 Avatars in SL are real people with real human emotions. Treat people with respect.

4. Experiment to find your limits. Know what is right for you and what does you harm. Set your play limits in your profile and then stick to them. Be wary of sims that state they do non consensual play or ignore roleplay limits. Be wary of people who do not respect your limit. Decide on a safe word and use it, don't play with those who ignore it. In SL the ultimate safe word is the off swicth. If you CAN'T continue, hit the off switch.

5. If it seems too good to be true it probably is. Most scams are based on offering a deal that is far too good to be true. Be wary of any scheme that promises you a lot more money or Lindens than you put in. Never give anyone your bank account details or credit card number. Never trust anyone who says he knows everything and that he has got the only solution for you. Be wary of the beautiful person who suddenly turns all their attention and romantic charisma and efforts on you. Remember that everything comes with cost and a risk, and that some people lie.

6. Be honest, caring, positive and generous in your dealings with others. Do what is right and seek the common good. Your best defence against scammers, exploiters and abusers is your honesty and your compassion. Many scams depend on the target being selfish or dishonest. Even hostile or selfish people may be disarmed by genuine care and compassion. What you give to others returns to you. If you treat others right they will treat you right. By doing this you build up a circle of friends and a community of sisters who you know that you can trust.

7. Review, Questions, Reflection. What have we learned? What could have been done better? How could this lesson be improved? Any questions?